Today was a hard day. Have you ever taken the time to really diagnose your relationships, take them apart piece-by-piece until there is only doubt left? Today for the first time I questioned how healthy my relationship with my mother is.
Being a single parent my mother and I grew naturally close. We bonded over strong female characters, a love of food, and failed romances for 21 years. I tell my friends that with my mom I have no secrets. The day after I had sex for the first time I had to call my mom and describe it to her in full detail. She laughs and my inappropriate jokes and never says, ‘I can’t believe you would do that.’ She’s understanding and all too cool for a nerd like me. Though some of my friends find our relationship aspirational many of my friends find it weird.
To those friends I always responded with, ‘you just don’t understand us,’ but today as my mom reminded me of a story from our past I realized that being close to me meant my mom had to sacrifice something very important–finding love.
By being so close to my mom did I act as a barrier against all interested men when she was younger?Would they see me clinging to my mother and flee? And now that I’m finally old enough and living my own life is my mother too old and tired to find love? Have I ruined any chance she has at romantic happiness?