Last night I finally took the plunge and went out with some friends. It’s been months since I went out and unfortunately all of my anxieties came out.
When I first meet people I’m really shy. It takes a while for me to feel comfortable around them, to let them in. Because I care to much about what other people think of me, I try to act cool. The only thing that saves me some times is alcohol, which makes everything just a whole lot easier.
While out I ran into some people from high school. These were people I use to admire form a far. I always wanted to be a part of their group but low self-esteem kept me from ever trying.
However, last night we hung out as a group, and I don’t know if it was the alcohol, my year abroad in Japan, my new found confidence from college, or if it was just my night, but I did it.
Recently I’ve come to embrace somethings about myself. Do I love everything about myself 100% of the time. No. I wish I had different features sometimes. But I also know I wouldn’t want to be anyone else but myself. I no longer desire anyone else’s life. I love my life and I love myself. I’m not ashamed to admit that anymore. All I want is to be the best version of myself.
Best of Luck.